Burnout, stress or even insomnia are frequent guests in many women’s lives. When looking at how to deal with a similar issue, I invite you to take a layer off and look inwards. If you often find yourself overworked, the cure is not necessarily externally-oriented such as working less or changing jobs.
Aurika Valan found her cure and now shares her message as a Women’s Sexuality Coach. In the interview, she takes matters from the mind into the body and introduces you to sacred sexuality and how it helped her, and dozens of other women to rediscover themselves.
VP: Tell us a bit about yourself—what’s your background?
Aurika: My name is Aurika Valan and I am a Women’s Sexuality Coach. Working with Sacred Sexuality wasn’t exactly on my “when I grow up I wanna be…” list.
How did I get here? I grew up destined to have the most normal life one could imagine in Lithuania: living in a Soviet block of flats in Šiauliai, being an A student and then emigrating to Northern Ireland with my parents at the age of 16.
Academically, I have a MA in Politics and French from a top university in the UK, and I speak five languages. I was a nice girl perfectly equipped to climb up my professional ladder and create a successful and socially approved life.
I remember, when there was a time I was thinking that maybe it was time to get a mortgage, a husband and start planning the colour of my bathroom tiles? At least this is what all of my friends were doing.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the path of getting a mortgage and making babies (I also desire to make babies and buy property when the time comes). But firstly, I had to give birth to my own divine self!
I was living with this deep abyss inside of my chest, and nothing could fill it. And believe me, I tried everything. My insatiable longing for depth, truth and authentic connection caused some of my most profound heartaches and sleepless nights.
My relentlessness to find That Something was a catalyst to develop insomnia. Now I know that the problem was me seeking Love and Bliss outside of myself. I confidently state now that this recipe for externally-motivated happiness ain’t gonna work! Ever.
The fact that I could not sleep made my life go down the spiral even though on the outside, I was living my dream life. I used to use quick-fix clitoral self-pleasure like a sleeping pill.
It was my stress release method which, afterwards, made me feel even more lonely and disconnected from myself. That was the price I was willing to pay for that momentary bliss.
Long story short, I was ready to let go of the life I had built and find the missing piece of the puzzle. That Something which would make my life actually meaningful. So to continue this chase, I moved to Bali.
One evening, I was sitting by the rice fields and watching the most magnificent coastal sunset, and I realized that I was feeling as miserable as before! Bali did not solve my problems. I just brought my entire emotional baggage with me.
But here comes the turning point in my life: I knew that my self-pleasure addiction was part of the problem, so I decided to let go of it altogether. Very soon, I noticed a lot of stagnant unpleasant energy pent up in my lower belly.
It was the first time I felt the intensity of my sexual or life force energy. Luckily, I had some fantastic conscious people around me who taught me how to circulate this energy using breathwork.
The rest is history. I committed myself to cultivate my life force energy consciously and see what will happen. I began claiming my space in the world by intentionally awakening my sexuality.
This is when I truly discovered the power of sacred sexuality—like Columbus “discovering” the South American lands which had always been there… After years of searching for love externally, I came back home to the temple of my body.
Now I also see that insomnia did not let me settle for a mediocre life that does not fulfil my soul. I had to solve that and find my way into the divine in me. Ironically, my insomnia was the key catalyst to my sexual awakening.
VP: Can you introduce us to sacred sexuality?
Aurika: Firstly, let me share what I mean by sexuality. It may or may not include sex. Sexuality is so much broader! It is that IMPULSE that makes you want to stand up and dance when you hear your favourite song.
Sexual or life force energy is that spark that makes us want to create beauty, speak words of love, make the world a better place, find our soul’s calling, maybe even create life. It is that intrinsic, natural impulse that makes the world spin and evolve. Sexuality is our capacity to expand our aliveness.
Sexual awakening starts when we start questioning our beliefs around sex, love and relationships:
“Maybe it’s not normal that I feel ashamed of sharing about my sexual needs?”
“Maybe my Yoni (a sacred place in Sanskrit; woman’s reproductive organs) is not meant to be numb?”
“What if sex is not meant to be a substitute of love or a way to release stress?”
“What if I create deeper intimacy with myself, my beloved and Divine through…sex?”
For most of us, all of these questions contain a plethora of limiting beliefs buried in the subconscious. We are terrified of facing them because of our repressed shame and guilt; sexual conditioning, patriarchy and religious dogmas, all which haven’t made it easy for us.
Sacred sexuality may not be for everyone because it will require your utmost courage to look within and hold all of your totality in loving awareness. Once we have an awareness of what’s within, we can then choose love and own it. Precisely, for this reason, I believe that Sacred sexuality is one of the most potent paths to self-love.
It is no longer about trying to look cool, doing all the right things and living an Instagram-filtered life, whilst deep down feeling empty and miserable. It becomes about opening that pandora box of all that we had suppressed and ignored as “shameful, unacceptable, leading to rejection” and instead, falling in love with our TOTALITY.
Once we start embracing our totality, without shaming or suppressing any parts (including the so perceived “negative” emotions, for example, anger, jealousy, grief, etc.), we reclaim our power. We realize that we are conscious creators of our reality, and we begin to take ownership of our lives, joy and orgasmicness. This is freedom at its best!
When working one-on-one with my clients, I facilitate this transformation in the most sacred and safe container possible. It is absolutely breathtaking to see a woman—who had disowned her feminine intensity, shamed her sexual expression and lived a totally masculine life—come back to her natural feminine essence.
For example, I had a client called Analisa. She came to me feeling exhausted, disconnected from her joy and even resisting to look at the mirror. She was struggling with being a single mum to her baby daughter.
During the three months of coaching with me, she went through a complete life makeover. She fell in love with her body, released and mastered her emotions and reclaimed her natural energy levels, and so much more positive change took place in her life. And in case you don’t believe me, watch her testimonial on my IGTV.
Awakened sexuality becomes a quintessential fuel to everything we do in life. It supercharges our lives, has the capacity to heal and transform. This is available to ALL of us.
VP: Where can we find you in the digital sphere?